FD3

The Tangled Web We Weave

Chaz Hirata

1 April 2011

FD #3

There is an old proverb that is often repeated by parents and teachers, “Honesty is the best policy.” That familiar saying is ingrained in our minds at a young age, a reminder to always be truthful regardless of consequence. Honesty represents a basic moral dilemma that we deal with every day. [THESIS]During our formative years, we are taught that to be deemed honest is to be regarded as respectable and trustworthy. However it seems that even at a young age, we are fully capable of swearing by and defending the lies and half-truths we tell. [THESIS] 

If honesty is the best policy, why do so many of us lie on a regular basis? To answer that question, we must first examine why we feel obligated to lie. Dr. Robert Feldman believes that he has found the answer. "It's [all] tied in with self-esteem,”" says University of Massachusetts psychologist. "We find that as soon as people feel that their self-esteem is threatened, they immediately begin to lie at higher levels (Lloyd)."  

An example of his findings has been published in the Journal of Basic and Applied Psychology. His experiment called for two test subjects to be videotaped while participating in a normal conversation. The participants were complete strangers and the topic of discussion was immaterial. After the dialogue was completed, Dr. Feldman asked each of the subjects to watch the video of the conversation and identify any part of the conversation that was not entirely true. 

Initially, every single test subject assured Dr. Feldman that they were indeed telling the truth. However, upon reviewing the videotape of their conversation, the participants “were genuinely surprised to discover they had said something inaccurate.” In the end, the Feldman’s analysis found that 60 percent of people had lied at least once during the 10-minute conversation, saying an average of 2.92 inaccurate things (Lloyd).

Although 60 percent of the test subjects revealed that they were not completely honest, these numbers should be expected as we have already acknowledged the fact that humans lie. Furthermore, since the test subjects were complete strangers, it is somewhat surprising that the participants did not lie or embellish more. There was no substantial reason for the subjects to tell the truth, which may account for the larger number of “little white lies.”  

This data also proves that human beings will lie instinctively. There is no reason to try to impress a complete stranger that you will possibly never see again, yet we still find ourselves telling tales of grandeur and weaving webs of deceit. But are human beings really natural-born liars? Is it a part of our DNA, a trait that has been embedded in our minds since birth? In his blog for the website Psychology Today, Dr. Alex Lickerman tells a story about his son Cruise to detail a young child’s evolution of lying. 

While attempting to toilet train their young boy Cruise, Dr. Lickerman and his wife would place their son on a small toilet and urge him to, “Pee pee in the potty.” This phrase was repeated over and over as they tried to encourage the child to properly use the facilities. To keep his attention Alex would read to his son during toilet training, which Cruise enjoyed immensely.   

This process continued until one late night when it was time for Cruise to go to sleep. As they were tucking their son, he grabbed his diaper with his hand and exclaimed, “Pee pee on potty. Pee pee on potty.” Having just changed his wet diaper a few moments ago, the couple knew that Cruise had already relieved himself and didn’t need to go again. Dr. Lickerman and his wife quickly realized that at 20 month of age, Cruise had already learned how to lie. In hopes of staying up later and listening his father read him a book, the young boy had told his first fib without even knowing it. 

It seems that human beings are natural born liars, but it is still in our power to stop. Each of us possesses the inherent ability to be honest, we simply choose not to. To change that, remember the times when you have been deceived and make certain that you never replicate those same misdeeds. As an example, for the past year and a half, my future wife and I had been planning our wedding. Both of us are very close to my co-workers and wanted them all to be able to attend. The restaurant I work at has always been closed on Sundays so we purposely scheduled the wedding on a Sunday so the entire staff would be off. Less than two months before the big day, the owner of the restaurant decided to begin opening on Sundays. Naturally, this worries my fiancé and me because we have everything already paid for and the date set. Many of my co-workers had already booked hotel rooms for the night and one of them was to perform the wedding toast as well. The owner promised to find replacements to pick up everyone’s shifts and assured us that, “It wouldn’t be a problem.” However, as the date drew near, the owner did not schedule any replacements and refused to close the restaurant for the day. Needless to say, this was extremely disappointing to us and put a small damper on an otherwise perfect day.

The story demonstrates the importance of honesty and following through on your promises, as they are two of the most endearing qualities that an individual can possess. Sengchanh Luanglaj writes, “I feel being honest at all times is a righteous and honorable characteristic to obtain because it demonstrates the ability to have the strength to speak the truth against all odds. It is when you have strong convictions of what is morally and ethically right. Once this sometimes challenging characteristic is acquired, it allows you and others to “trust” in each other. In return it is the ultimate gain for us human being, it allows us a positive and secure feeling in all aspect of our lives.”

It seems that the most commonly utilized rational for deceit is the idea that a lie is actually “for the greater good” or that “the end justifies the means.” Unfortunately, these statements are just excuses meant to rationalize our misdeeds. Most lies are formed in order to protect ourselves or something we deem worthy of protecting. Frequently, the lies simply end up compounding the problem and making the situation more complicated than before. There is a memorable line by Cary Grant in the 1963 movie titled Charade. When asked by Audrey Hepburn "Why do people have to tell lies?" Grant answers, "Usually it's because they want something. They are afraid the truth won't get it for them." If the truth can’t get you what you want, then it’s almost certainly not worth getting.

Works Cited

Lickerman, Alex. “Happiness in This World: Why We Lie.” Psychology Today 8 March 2010. Web. 28 March 2011. [http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/happiness-in-world/201003/why-we-lie]

Lloyd, Robin. “Why We Lie.” Live Science 15 May 2006. Web. 28 March 2011. [http://www.livescience.com/772-lie.html]

Luanglaj, Sengchanh. “Discussion 2: Honesty in Employment, White Lie, Honesty.” Online Posting. 17 March 2011. Laulima Discussion. 30 March 2011. [https://laulima.hawaii.edu/portal/site/KAP.XLSENG215js.201130/page/dce5cccd-f9ac-4ad1-8c6b-6896281bf756]

Log of Completed Activities

_X__ Mar. 3- Intro to Paper #3. Read the Guidelines for Paper #3.
_X__ Mar. 7- Complete readings for paper #3 for paper #3.
_X__ Mar. 11- Laulima Discussion #1
_X__ Mar. 18- Laulima Discussion #2
_X__ Spring Recess Mar. 21-25
_X__ Apr. 1- Submit RD3 [50 pts] Review the guidelines.
_X__ Apr. 4- Submit three RD3 evaluations [50 pts] Review the guidelines.
_X__ Apr. 6- Submit FD3 [125 pts] Review the guidelines.